Many wonderful books have been written about love and films have been made, but in real life this feeling is even more beautiful - especially when you test it close person who reciprocates.

How to fall in love with a guy if he is already there and shows signs of attention? Is it possible to induce this feeling in yourself or contribute to its appearance?

What does it mean?

Love- this is a feeling that is perceived by us literally physically, due to changes in hormonal levels, the release of dopamine and adrenaline.

We feel a pleasant, lingering feeling in the chest - hence the expression that they love with their hearts.

In parallel with this, we experiencing the strongest emotional uplift, are ready not to sleep and not eat for days and feel surprisingly great. And we get all this from a loved one - only he can cause such feelings.

There is never a lot of an object of love - you always want his presence, you don’t get tired of communicating with him, in a bad moment it’s better with him, but in a good one - just fine. He saves us from loneliness and shares with us all the joys and troubles - like a real native person.

And also a loved one gives a feeling of calm - that will always remain with us, no matter what.

Each person has his own concept of love - someone appreciates more explosive feelings, somebody calmness and confidence in another person, but all who love are one in one - all this is given to us by another person who is the only one.

I can't love anyone

It happens that a person has no feelings for anyone- even if someone looks after him and hopes for reciprocity.

At the same time, the following situation happens quite often - rationally reasoning, he understands that his admirer or admirer will make him a good couple, but he cannot do one thing - to experience emotions, love. Why is this happening?

How to let go of the person you love? Learn about it from ours.

Psychology and causes

Why can't I fall in love? Causes, according to which a person cannot experience reciprocal feelings for a partner, may be as follows:

• the expression of feelings was not accepted in the family, the communication of parents to the child was initially distinguished by coldness, “formality”.
• had a negative experience of falling in love with a previous partner.
• a person has a low one and he does not allow the possibility of reciprocal feelings of a partner, as a result of which there is a rejection of emotions.
• mistrust of people caused by humiliation or betrayal in the past.

Also, the reason for the lack of emotions may lie in the partner - the lack of mutual interests, different levels of education, unpretentious appearance.

How to love? Tips in this video:

Can love for a person come with time?

Love - quite unpredictable and controllable feeling, however, there are many examples when people who were next to each other and long time communicated even without any hint of love, found that this is exactly the person they were waiting for.

How long does it take for a man or woman to fall in love?

It's hard enough to predict.- it happens that people understand - this is their partner, at first sight, but there are also situations in which people fall in love with each other after a year.

What to do to love a woman?

At an older age, more attention is paid to the reliability of a partner, the feeling of calmness with him. However, no one has canceled the feeling of falling in love with adults.

Arrange holidays for each other - take a break from business together, get a charge of good emotions, and then give her a little care - in any case, this will resonate in her, give impetus to her taking care of you.

Let her take care of you and feel how pleasant and calm it is to be around the person who pays attention to you.

How to be loved?

In order to love a person, you need good to know.

Take an interest in his hobbies - he will tell you a lot of interesting things about his favorite hobby.

This will be the first step towards more learn about him as a person.

Go to meet him - as a man, he must take the first steps to ensure that your relationship is strengthened and developed. If he is shy - hint that you would like more, cheer him up.

Do not be shy to give a man a little more attention - all men appreciate it. Tell him more about yourself, hear his stories in response - frankness brings people together.

Remember your youth and have fun with it on some day off.

Strive to diversify your life, while remaining alone - and soon you will feel that in his absence you will already be missing something.

Is it possible to return feelings for her husband?

You can be next to each other almost around the clock, seven days a week and this gives you certain cards in hand.

Try as much as you can diversify your life.

Arrange role-playing games in bed, romantic evenings, outings into nature - everything that will resonate in your female heart. Give him compliments and push him to exploits with this - perhaps you will see him from a much better side, from which you did not know before.

Be honest with him - you can even ask him to tell you in detail about all the former ones - perhaps this will make you jealous and understand that he should only be yours.

Do not be afraid of emotions - feel them, being together.

How to love your own husband? Psychologist's advice:

Should I force myself?

If you are trying to love someone - don't force yourself, don't force your feelings- everything should happen in accordance with your inner consent. Trust the wise proverb - you will not be forced to be nice.

But often they are looking for them in the wrong place - rarely anyone tries to find the reasons in themselves.

First, let's try to figure out why we fall in love. What contributes to the fact that this wonderful feeling is born INSIDE OF US? Actually, the answer to this question is already highlighted in capital letters. Love in our hearts is born when we are ready for it. When we do not forbid Love to be born in our heart. And most importantly, when we are kind to other people. Not to one, not to two, not to relatives or close friends, but to everyone who surrounds us. Only when we are kind to others, when we do not see them as enemies, are we already halfway to falling in love.

Are they not looking for good from good?

Love is built on self-giving, on actions towards others, on the desire to make the world of another person better. The opposite of this is the feeling of consumption. A person who expects others to act towards himself, who consumes more than he gives, will never experience this feeling. Until the inner vectors of the soul change inside his heart.

That is why the love of a parent for his child and a child for his parent are different in their degree of strength and nature. The forces that a parent uses to raise his child, the feelings that he puts in for this, the emotions that he spends on him, are born inside his soul. Performing all these actions, the parent does not expect that his child will answer him the same. He will be happy if the child responds with signs of attention many times smaller than he himself does. It is enough for him even that the child simply looks like him or does the actions that he taught him. That is why a parent experiences an inexpressible feeling of happiness when a child calls him dad or talks in kindergarten about what a good father he has and how they spent the weekend fishing together, or when a stranger praises his child. At such moments, happiness is so unbearable that even a man is ready to shed a tear.

Why is he so happy? Simply because he did not expect a response to the efforts he made. He brought up, protected, taught all sorts of good things and simply gave his Love to a child, not expecting anything in return. In itself, this for him is pleasant and good. And having received in response an unexpected and unexpected confirmation that he did all this for good reason, he plunged into instant and all-consuming happiness.

The child does not experience such acute feelings towards his parent. He is in the role of a consumer. He feels good and comfortable from the fact that his parents take care of him, protect him from dangers and give gifts for the holidays. He cannot experience the deep happiness that shakes his psyche, because he does not invest anything. The parent for him is just a part of this world that has always existed and will always exist. Who will protect him and take care of him. A parent is a sense of security. With him, he is protected, always fed and deprived of the problems of the outside world. The child simply has nothing to give in response, and it is not necessary, because it is so good. And even when he does something for his ancestors, he does it, first of all, from the desire to receive confirmation that it was pleasant for them. That he liked the drawing that he drew for dad on February 23, and that if he washed the floor in the kitchen, mom would praise him. Not receiving praise for what he did, the child is upset, upset. His efforts were not helpful. Having received praise, the child does not become happy. He was just VERY pleased that he guessed that his parents would also be pleased.

The same principles apply to relationships between men and women. After all, we were all children. But someone has matured and began to behave like a parent. And someone remained a child with his characteristic manner of behavior and attitude. Our bodies have matured and become adults. This happens by itself, due to the peculiarities of physiology. But our souls mature only if we ourselves want to grow up. If we want not to consume, but to give.

Unfortunately, most of us are still children. That is why there are so few truly ADULT relationships between a man and a woman. Relationships where everyone gives without expecting anything in return, and unexpectedly receiving - becomes happy.

Much more often in a relationship, when doing an act, everyone expects to receive an answer-confirmation that it was not done in vain and that it is pleasant for the partner. And if he doesn’t get it, he gets angry at himself and at his partner, thereby removing a brick from the foundation of the relationship. This happens with each of the partners in such a relationship, and sooner or later the moment comes when the desire to make the other person feel good and pleasant disappears completely. Loss of understanding and trust. The awareness that the partner understands him disappears. And each of them blames the other. Relationships go from trust to conflict. Irritation and emotional dissatisfaction accumulate.

Such relationships are more like a game of two children, where everyone is trying to prove their superiority. They are drawn to each other as much as they are repelled. They are not sure, first of all, in their strengths and their life positions and try to prove it by putting pressure on their partner. This is how they assert themselves.

In these relationships, everyone only takes. If they do not give him, he takes away through blackmail and manipulation, and sometimes outright violence. Suffice it to recall WHAT we felt when we said, “I love you” for the first time in our lives, the desire to receive a similar answer. And not having received it, they experienced inconvenience and shame. And surely everyone at least once faced, if not personally, then using the example of other people, with situations when a partner tries to squeeze this recognition out of you by force: “Well, you don’t love me anymore,” which forces you to prove the opposite, giving your partner a confession not because the soul demands, but because it is forced, so as not to offend.

Such relationships are called differently: attachment, habit, love. Few people call them the Love of a lifetime. Probably also because the meeting of two people who look at the world with the same responsibility and in an adult way, who are ready, first of all, to give themselves for the sake of another, without looking back at whether he gives as much, does not happen so often. And when it happens, the couples that form as a result live a long time and, as they say, until death, and are set as an example.

Why do we fall in love more often when we are young?

Because the child is ready to become an adult. Because he sees the world as bright and kind. As comfortable as at home, where there are no dangers. Where nothing is expected of him. Everyone he meets on his way seems to him like his parents - making him happy. And he associates love with a feeling when they give you, but you don’t need to think about what another person needs. At this age, having not yet had time to get pain from unrequited Love, a person is not afraid of it. The world seems simple and clean, not requiring stress.

And for the first time having received a love wound, he is more careful about other people. To people who could potentially fall in love. He carefully looks at them, checking if they give him something or not. The most unpleasant thing in this situation is that that person behaves in exactly the same way. He, too, fell into the traps of Love. And now he's just afraid of pain. Afraid of being misunderstood, afraid of feelings that may not be mutual.

As we age, we become more cowardly. That is why they are less happy.

Do you want to love? Be brave!

To fall in love, to love, you don't need to be afraid, you don't need to fear, you don't need to wait for the right person. You have to be "fit" yourself. We need to forget about fear. After all, every person is worthy of love. Everyone who reads this article will say with confidence: "Yes, I am worthy of Love." Every! But everyone WAITS to be loved. That when they love him, then he will love too. In the end, everyone is waiting, and no one gives anything to anyone. And you just need to give your Love to another. Give your kindness, your heart and understanding to the first nice person. At a minimum, you can make his life better and get great pleasure from it, the same as a Parent gets when giving love to his child, his child. And as a maximum - to find your REAL Love. A person who will see in you not a consumer who is waiting for attention to his person, who are around like grass in the forest, but worthy of him. The one who is different from others... The one who deserves it.

Undoubtedly, each of us thought about the strange circumstance that at a young age we fall in love more often. And the older we get, the less it happens to us. People are trying to find different reasons for these circumstances. But often they are looking for them in the wrong place - rarely does anyone try to find the reasons in themselves.

First, let's try to figure out why we fall in love. What contributes to the fact that this wonderful feeling is born INSIDE OF US? Actually, the answer to this question is already highlighted in capital letters. Love in our hearts is born when we are ready for it. When we do not forbid Love to be born in our heart. And, most importantly, when we are kind to other people. Not to one, not to two, not to relatives or close friends, but to everyone who surrounds us. Only when we are kind to others, when we do not see enemies in them, are we already halfway to falling in love.

Are they not looking for good from good?

Love is built on self-giving, on actions towards others, on the desire to make the world of another person better. The opposite of this is the feeling of consumption. A person who expects others to act towards himself, who consumes more than gives, will never experience this feeling. As long as the inner vectors of the soul do not change inside his heart.

That is why the love of a parent for his child and a child for his parent are different in their degree of strength and nature. The forces that a parent uses to raise his child, the feelings that he puts in for this, the emotions that he spends on him, are born inside his soul. Performing all these actions, the parent does not expect that his child will answer him the same. He will be happy if the child responds with signs of attention many times smaller than he himself does. It is enough for him even that the child simply looks like him or does the actions that he taught him. That is why a parent experiences an inexpressible feeling of happiness when a child calls him dad, or talks in kindergarten about what a good father he has and how they spent the weekend fishing together, or when a stranger praises his child. At such moments, happiness is so unbearable that even a man is ready to shed a tear. Why is he so happy? Simply because he did not expect a response to the efforts he made. He brought up, protected, taught all sorts of good things and simply gave his Love to a child without expecting anything in return. In itself, this for him is pleasant and good. And having received in response an unexpected and unexpected confirmation that he did it all for a reason - he plunged into instant and all-consuming happiness.

The child does not experience such acute feelings towards his parent. He is in the role of a consumer. He feels good and comfortable that his parents take care of him, protect him from dangers and make gifts for the holidays. He cannot experience the deep happiness that shakes his psyche, because he does not invest anything. The parent for him is simply a part of this world that has always existed and will always exist. Who will protect him and take care of him. A parent is a sense of security. With him, he is protected, always fed and deprived of the problems of the outside world. The child simply has nothing to give in response, and it is not necessary, because it is so good. And even when he does something for his ancestors, he does it primarily out of a desire to receive confirmation that it was pleasant for them. That he liked the drawing that he drew for dad on February 23, and for washing the floor in the kitchen, mom will praise him. Not receiving praise for what he did - the child is upset, upset. His efforts were not helpful. Having received praise, the child does not become happy. He was just VERY pleased that he guessed that his parents would also be pleased.

The same principles apply to relationships between men and women. After all, we were all children. But someone has matured and began to behave like a parent. And someone - remained a child with his characteristic manner of behavior and attitude. Our bodies have matured and become adults. This happens by itself, due to the peculiarities of physiology. But our souls mature only if we ourselves want to grow up. If we want not to consume, but to give.

Unfortunately, most of us are still children. That is why there are so few truly ADULT relationships between a man and a woman. Relationships where everyone gives without expecting anything in return, and unexpectedly received - becomes happy.

Much more often in a relationship, when doing an act, everyone expects to receive an answer-confirmation that it was not done in vain, and that it is pleasant for the partner. And if you don’t get it, get angry at yourself and your partner, thereby removing a brick from the foundation of the relationship. This happens to each of the partners in such a relationship, and sooner or later there comes a moment when the desire to do something nice and good for the other disappears completely. Loss of understanding and trust. The awareness that the partner understands him disappears. And each of them blames the other. Relationships go from trust to conflict. Irritation and emotional dissatisfaction accumulate.

Such relationships are more like a game of two children, where everyone is trying to prove their superiority. They are drawn to each other as much as they are repelled. They are not sure, first of all, in their strengths and their life positions and try to prove it by putting pressure on their partner. This is how they assert themselves.

In these relationships, everyone only takes. If they do not give him, he takes away through blackmail and manipulation, and sometimes outright violence. It is enough to remember WHAT we felt when for the first time in our lives we said "I love you" - the desire to receive a similar answer in response. And not having received it, they experienced inconvenience and shame. And surely everyone at least once faced, if not personally, then on the example of other people, with situations when a partner tries to squeeze this recognition out of you by force: “Well, you don’t love me anymore,” which forces you to prove the opposite, giving recognition to your partner not because that the soul requires, but because it is forced, so as not to offend.

Such relationships are called differently: attachment, habit, love. Few people call them the Love of a lifetime. Probably also because the meeting of two people who look at the world with the same responsibility and in an adult way, who are ready, first of all, to give themselves for the sake of the other, without looking back at whether he gives as much, does not happen so often. And when it happens, the couples that form as a result live a long time and, as they say: until death, and are set as an example.

Why do we fall in love more often when we are young?

Because the child is ready to become an adult. Because he sees the world as bright and kind. As comfortable as at home, where there are no dangers. Where nothing is expected of him. Everyone he meets on his way seems to him like his parents - making him happy. And he associates love with a feeling where they give you. But where you do not need to think about what the other person needs. At this age, having not yet had time to get pain from unrequited Love, a person is not afraid of it. The world seems simple and clean, not requiring stress. And in the first having received a love wound, he is more careful about other people. To people who could potentially fall in love. He carefully looks at them, checking whether they will give him something or not. The most unpleasant thing in this situation is that that person behaves in exactly the same way. He, too, fell into the traps of Love. And now he's just afraid of pain. Afraid of not being understood, afraid of feelings that may not be mutual.

As we age, we become more cowardly. That makes them less happy.

Do you want to love? Be brave!
To fall in love, to love, you don't need to be afraid, you don't need to fear, you don't need to wait for the right person. You have to be "fit" yourself. We need to forget about fear. After all, every person is worthy of love. Everyone who reads this article will say with confidence: "Yes, I am worthy of Love." Every! But everyone WAITS to be loved. That when they love him, then he will love too. In the end, everyone is waiting, and no one gives anything to anyone. And you just need to give your Love to another. Give your kindness, your heart and understanding to the first nice person. At the very least, you can make his life better and get great pleasure from it, the same as a Parent gets, giving love to his child, his child. As a maximum - to find your REAL Love. A person who will see in you not a consumer who is waiting for attention to his person, who are around like grass in the forest, but worthy of him. The one who is different from others ... The one who deserves it.

Pages of men's secrets

Love is often overwhelming. You will need perseverance and patience to manage not to fall in love with a person, especially when you cannot control your emotions. Perhaps you are trying not to fall in love with the person you like, or you want to stay away from love relationships generally. You can try to avoid the person you like, as well as curb your emotions so that feelings do not get the better of you. You can also focus on your interests and needs to distance yourself from the person.

Steps

Avoid the person you like

Keep your distance from the person. One way to gain victory over your feelings is to stay at a safe distance from a certain person. This behavior can also cover various social situations such as meeting up with friends and co-workers. Sometimes you will have to avoid the person you study or work with. Stay away to resist the temptation to start a conversation, otherwise your feelings may only intensify.

1. Set clear boundaries for yourself in case this person is present. If you are close to him, then you need clear boundaries that will allow you to contain emotions. For example, promise yourself not to touch, hug, or sit next to him. Try to keep some distance from him and use closed gestures so as not to be friendly or cordial. This will show that you are not interested in a romantic relationship.

   • For example, cross your arms over your chest and don't make eye contact when talking to a person.

2. Do not accept romantic gestures or gifts. A person may show sympathy for you through gifts or courtesies. Do not allow or encourage such behavior, otherwise you will only motivate a person to seek your favor. You don't need it if you're trying not to fall in love with him.

   • For example, you can politely say, “I can't accept this gift,” “Thanks, I can handle it myself,” or “Thank you, no need,” if the person is trying to do something nice for you.

   Hold back your emotions

   1. List the negative qualities of a person. Try to curb your emotions so as not to fall in love. Learn to control your emotions and not lose your temper in the presence this person. Make a list of his negative qualities. Reread the list and feel your disappointment towards the person caused by such qualities. This way you can avoid falling in love.

      • Be sincere and think about the qualities of the person that would annoy or make you very angry in a hypothetical relationship with him. For example, write down: “He is career fixated, too quiet, introverted, doesn’t know how to have fun in company.”

   2. Determine why you are incompatible. Consider why you are not a good match. You can make a list of negative qualities of a person and indicate why they will not allow you to be together. Also try to write down specific examples of cases in which you will not find mutual language. Focus on incompatibility to turn off your emotions towards this person and see him only as a friend.

      • For example, write: “We are incompatible, because he only thinks about a career, and I would like to travel” or: “We will not get along, because he is sedentary, and I plan to move often.”

   3. Focus on the friendly aspects of your relationship. If you're already on friendly terms, then try to put friendship over romance. You might be great friends. Consider that trying to build a romantic relationship can hurt feelings and destroy friendships. After that, you can come to the conclusion that it is better to be friends with this person, and not build a love relationship.

      • For example, you could write down all the times you joked around and had fun as friends, and then consider whether it's worth risking that friendship for a potential romantic relationship.

Hello!
The thing is that I can not start a serious relationship with men, because I do not like ... I can not reciprocate.
I'm traditional, quite pretty and I have a lot of fans, young - 22 years old.
But I don't like anyone! They don’t attract like men .. (of course I had a sexual relationship, but not for long .. and everything ended quickly, I myself left (then I regretted that I slept, because in the morning I felt disgusted and understood that it was not my man. I just want to fall in love, I literally force myself to do it...but it doesn't make sense.
All my friends love and are loved! Why can't I be normal? Why do I need someone special and all that? Why can't I just be with someone? This has been going on for a long time...
Even one guy told me (correctly by the way) that at such a pace I can remain an old maid and all that .. right!! I will look for love until old age .. mutual
I think this is due to the former passion, which was 4 years ago ... I FALL IN LOVE, BUT UNRESPONSIBLY! This is the guy I would date and build a relationship with. It was terribly simple, but he sent me off.
maybe because of this?
I'm tired of being alone! Can I start dating someone (who will like me) and force myself to love him? But it is difficult. I'm confused! I hope I explained everything clearly ... I'm ashamed, because I myself wanted to be a psychologist, but I can't solve my problem!
After all, I understand with my mind that it’s so stupid that it’s better to be with someone who loves you .. and not wait for someone ...
What should I do?

Psychologists Answers

Hello Julia!

You asked the right question. You clever!

It's just that what you see around you doesn't suit you. You are looking for.

After all, seeing how it is with "everyone" - this option does not suit you. Scandals, quarrels, "walking" husbands, lack of feelings between partners.

But you have other aspirations! You strive for happiness and your search is sure to be crowned with success.

To understand your aspirations, you will have to figure out a lot and reconsider your life values ​​and priorities. How to do this you can find on

http://mblshepel.ru

Your path to happiness! Good luck!

Good answer 2 bad answer 3

Hello Julia! let's see what's going on:

They don’t attract like men .. (of course I had a sexual relationship, but not for long .. and everything ended quickly, I myself left (then I regretted that I slept, because in the morning I felt disgusted and understood that it was not my man

those. In principle, you are NOT attracted to men who do NOT sympathize with you, and when you start a relationship with such men, you already feel disgusted with yourself that you slept, while NOT experiencing anything for this man - and this is quite natural in principle! further - it is important to figure out what do you feel in general? when you start a relationship - do you try to do it through force - and how do you feel then? what is the motivation for the relationship in general?

well - you understand that some men do NOT attract you - then construct an image of the man you want to see next to you - because until you know how this man looks, what moral principles, attitudes he has .... - so that you can already specifically to see if a man has these qualities, whether he suits you, and NOT go broke on many men!

All my friends love and are loved! Why can't I be normal? Why do I need someone special and all that? Why can't I just be with someone?

you DO NOT know about girlfriends - everyone has their own concept of love, about what kind of relationship they are waiting for and comparing all women in general is NOT true!

You can NOT be with someone! BUT - You can be with your beloved man, with the one you will accept!

I think this is due to the former passion, which was 4 years ago ... I FALL IN LOVE, BUT UNRESPONSIBLY! This is the guy I would date and build a relationship with. It was terribly simple, but he sent me off. but past relationships need to be worked out - because now you can project your pain, disappointment from past relationships onto relationships with all men and unconsciously choose for yourself those partners who are initially NOT attractive to you, to whom you are NOT attracted - thereby your consciousness protects you from pain, depriving its possible source - men!

I'm tired of being alone! Can I start dating someone (who will like me) and force myself to love him?

After all, I understand with my mind that it’s so stupid that it’s better to be with someone who loves you .. and not wait for someone ... But is it honest to be with a man who loves you, BUT whom you do NOT love - who will feel good then? You, knowing that there is someone with you - and what a man will feel (Will the situation turn out to be a reflection of the one that you had?) - would a man want to get out of such a relationship?

To begin with, you need to understand yourself - accept yourself! let go of your pain and close the door of the past! after all, protecting yourself and avoiding relationships - on the one hand, you protect yourself from disappointment, pain, but by doing so you run away from love, joy, ups ..... you can realize happiness only after experiencing grief! pain from love You know - but happiness?

Julia, if you really decide to figure out what is happening - you can feel free to contact me - call - I will only be happy to help you!

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